Thursday, June 16, 2016

不要让感情而放弃爱情

On 16062016 , 9.15pm at Serangoon Nex - Mac while I bought an ice cream for me and her...
Few days before on 10052016 to 12062016 it was a trip to Gemas and we traveled to melacca,
at the end of the trip we were mad at each other due to the lum sum of accumulation of misunderstanding always been unsolved....

My 2nd Aunt gave us two dumplings for us to eat on the train because it was the dumpling period.
Day before we board the train to JB, we have promise to ate dinner at JB so it goes like....
We were about 1 hour more journey to reach and I find that the dumpling is a kind of sincerity by my aunt so I decided to eat one of it and left one. I ask her if she want it but she refuse me and so I ask her then later we should eat at JB she also refuse saying she want go back SG immediately when we arrive.
This was a misunderstanding... because she refuse to eat dumpling because she want to eat dinner and she think that after I consumed the dumpling I am full so she got bit angry and decided to go back SG straight away. 
Then I was thinking since she not eating already might as well I just finished the dumpling and so we can go back straight away. After I eaten it, she got even more pissed off and suddenly she change her mind say she wanted to eat at JB. If the above statement was made clear before everything I guess thing will be solved but is all my fault for not giving her enough attention for this to happen.

I also started not to give in already which is a bad sign which we first fight over in the message,
then I realise over fighting over in the message we have so much thing inside us keeping it in ourself and not letting the opposite side know which result in the end a break for us...

16062016 was the period I joined a competition regarding solar power at Science Center, travelling down to visit her uncle who was hospitalize and then we went to Serangoon Nex.... then everything just ended..

-不要让感情而放弃爱情
This is what I learnt and I wish people dont abuse relationship or give up in relationship

The night, I had a dream of her visiting my house and my mum and elder sister treat her even better than before ..... then I woke up i realised everything was gone...
I went for a jog...... when I was back at my house looking down from the height of 11th floor, I realise something...

I know why people commit suicide already because it take so much effort which is maybe years or maybe even their whole life to climb or to build from 1st floor to 11th floor and it just take seconds to to make everything goes back to square one which is losing everything... and start from 1st floor again.

I feel that she will be the only one and is good enough already, I wont able get the another girl who is better than her so I have been keep the relationship while during these 3 years she have been mention breaking up for like 3- 4 times, then finally I realise maybe I have been dragging it for too long already. To be honest I am confuse about love now, I doesnt know what it is really meant because I never do much action about it keep dragging everything and just keep talking without doing...

I will be in Shanghai for internship from 06072016 to 20122016 in a company named Floteq.
I wont give up on life instead I should be more motivated to do more things now...
Relationship no longer a priority now.... it is just a bonus because I know I wont able to sustain it at most I only know how to start it that's all...

Just glad that it ended peacefully and wasn't a fight so we stay as friend from now on....
1194 days... 3 years 3 months 6 days ...

7.26am 17062016
Sign off~

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